The Woman that every man needs, without a doubt, is a virtuous wife. “An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels.” (Proverbs 31:10) She is truly a gift from God, “House and wealth are an inheritance from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.” (Proverbs 19:14) But a wife can be as much a curse as she can a blessing. Just as a wife can bring a man joy and happiness, a wife can also bring her husband much heartache and misery. “An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who shames him is as rottenness in his bones.” (Proverbs 12:4) “It is better to live in a desert land, than with a contentious and vexing woman.” (Proverbs 21:19) It is in this situation, when a man has a wife that is vexing and contentious, that he should look for comfort in the arms of an “other” woman.
While the sinful world may turn to an adulteress or seductress, there is truly only more pain to be found there than relief. “Do not desire her (evil woman or adulteress) beauty in your heart, nor let her catch you with her eyelids. For on account of a harlot one is reduced to a loaf of bread, and an adulteress hunts for the precious life. Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned? Or can a man walk on hot coals, and his feet not be scorched? So is the one who goes into his neighbor’s wife; whoever touches her will not go unpunished… The one who commits adultery with a woman is lacking sense; He who would destroy himself does it. Wounds and disgrace he will find, and his reproach will not be blotted out.” (Proverbs 6:25-29, 32-33) One may find passion in the arms of this “other” woman, but the only other things to be found in her embrace are emptiness, loneliness, shame, guilt, pain, and eternal suffering. So while she may be the “other” woman that some men desire, she is a woman that no man needs.
Instead, let us consider the “other” woman that God tells us that we need. He says that if you love her, “…she will watch over you… Prize her, and she will exalt you; she will honor you if you embrace her, she will place on your head a garland of grace; She will present you with a crown of beauty.” (Proverbs 4:6, 8-9). So who is this priceless beauty that every man needs? WISDOM!!! Wisdom is the woman who has been with God since the beginning of time (Prov. 8:22-31, 3:19), and wisdom is the one who offers us life and peace. She will protect us from the evil one, and wisdom is the one who will honor us both now, and in eternity. God says, “She is more precious than jewels; and nothing you desire compares with her. Long life is in her right hand; In her left hand are riches and honor. Her ways are pleasant ways, and her paths are peace. She is a tree of life to those who take hold of her; and happy are all who hold her fast.”(Proverbs 3:15-18)
As men, we have a responsibility to treat our wives with love, honor, and respect. “You husbands, likewise, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman; and grant her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.” (I Peter 3:7) Because our “excellent” or “virtuous” wives are having a bad day, because they scream or yell, because they are cranky or demanding, because they are mean and abrasive; it does not relieve us, as husbands, from our responsibility to be understanding, loving, and honorable. In fact, in difficult days or times such as those mentioned, it is our duty to call our sister (wisdom Prov. 7:4) in search for guidance and help. We cannot live with our wives in an understanding way without wisdom, and we cannot be the husbands God has called us to be without her in our lives. We need her in our lives, hearts, and marriages; so let our first call of help be to her.